Today we are challenged to issue a public apology and mine has
been a long time coming... To my brother.
Dear David,
I would like to take this opportunity to publicly
apologise for all the things I may have done in the past that scared the pants
off you; telling ghost stories, tales about killer clowns that could get you on
the way home from school, hid behind corners only to jump out on you. The list
is long.
All these things are terrible I know, but in my defence
they are only typical of any older sister and I think are well within my
rights.
I sincerely apologise if any of the stories have
left lingering traumas or emotional scarring. Uneasiness around clowns perhaps
or a need to check the roof of any car you exit for an escaped psychopath.
It was not actually my intention to scar you for
life in any way. In fact all of these things actually scared the pants off me
first, I was just trying to ease my fears by passing them on to you.
I do hope that, as you are a fantastic person
with the best sense of humour, you would in some way credit me with these
aspects of your personal development as I do believe that my years of torture
training have played some part in who you are today. So really, you should be grateful.
I hope you accept my apology with the dignity and
composure that I helped create.
As always, your loving sister
Claire
P.S What's that behind you?!!
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